Let's Start Over Again
by lou2019
Summary: Edward and Bella Divorce, so she goes to live with Charlie again to try and restart her life. She comes to find that most things in Forks are not the same... Disclaimer: Renesmee does not exist and Bella was never changed.
1. Old Beginnings

_Hey! I'm super excited to be writing-- officially! Just a few things about this fanfic before we get into chapter one. It will be totally clean! So don't worry about coming across any risky chapters. Oh and I totally forgot to put in my summary that Bella is NOT a vampire. Anyway, I hope you enjoy chapter one!_

 _\- Lou_

 _P.S. All rights are reserved to Stephanie Meyer, owner of twilight_

Just like that, it was all over. It was what I thought was the best two years of my life. _He_ said he loved me, would do anything for me. That was obviously all a lie. Maybe it's for the better. Maybe it was truly never meant to be. _I can get used to that,_ I thought.

I had already called Charlie, and he was ecstatic when he heard that I was coming to live with him. The last time I came to visit was with Edward. His name clung to my brain like a soaring migraine. I needed to see Charlie. He could help me feel better. We were so similar-- especially with the "suffer in silence" and the "I'll deal with it myself" nonsense. That was just how we were, and we liked it that way.

Before I knew it, my twenty hour drive was coming to an end, and the "Welcome to Forks" sign was within my vision range. I felt my car come to a stop. It wasn't me though, it was just my conscience. I was sitting right before the sign, inches away from entering the town line. Was I waiting for a signal? Was I hoping for a wave of relief to flow over me once I entered? _Come on Bella pull yourself together, this isn't Disney._ I was now laughing out loud. I think I was suffering from a little insanity at the time. By the time a car behind me started to honk, I was moving again. I passed many familiar stops, the Newton's store, the diner, and even the sign showing directions to La Push. La Push... I hadn't thought about... could he still be here? Was he in college? My heart racing-- I completely forgot about Jacob.

With my mind still wandering around the idea of my beloved wolf, I didn't notice that I passed the driveway of Charlie's house by a 100 feet or so. I quickly put the car in reverse and stopped when I came to the driveway. I pulled up and there she was. My beloved rusty, rickety, old red truck. It was like seeing the sun after three days of darkness. Suddenly I was back to feeling like my old self. Like I was the 17 year old Bella who had just moved to Forks to live with her dad. My memory lane route was ended by the slamming of a front door.

"Bells! How are you sweetheart! Where is Edward?" Charlie was exuberant that I was here.

"Hey dad," it was time to confess, "about that, I have something I need to tell you." He looked at me with hopeful eyes and I told him everything. He was almost dumbstruck when I was finished with my piece. I couldn't tell if he was happy or upset. Maybe he felt hurt that I hadn't called to tell him sooner. None the less, he embraced me awkwardly and told me I could stay as long as I wanted, that this would always be my home. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Gosh I loved Charlie, my dad, my safety.


	2. Angela

_Hey! It's so great to see that just my first chapter has so many views, I really appreciate it! I will always welcome any kind of reviews, whether they be constructive criticism or praises. Again, so sorry that the last chapter was so short, the rest won't be like that. This evening I worked really, really hard and was able to get my project done so that I could upload another chapter to make up for the first one. Anyway, enjoy the next chapter! Things will be getting heated here pretty soon, if you know what I mean..._

 _\- Lou_

Charlie was so glad to see me back at home. To be honest, I wasn't really the best daughter when it came to communicating regularly. I had no idea what any of my old friends were up to, so Charlie did his best to fill me in. Apparently Jessica had moved to Port Angeles to look for a job opportunity, but I knew it was because of the lack of eligible bachelors in Forks. Oh Jessica, so boy crazy. Eric had just finished at his community college and was transferring to another school somewhere up by New York, I think It had something to do with film school. He always was the optimistic visually oriented person. The only person I suppose that I truly wanted to know about was Angela. After all, she was one of my truest friends. Charlie explained to me that college didn't work out for her, and that she had recently opened up a cute little hobby store one block from the diner. Charlie also told me about Mike, who's parents had recently died in a car accident, so he took over the family business. Mike and Angela had gotten close when his parents died, and now they were dating. Not sure how I felt about that. I was happy though that Mike was able to lean on someone.

The next day I decided I would go and visit Angela at her shop, maybe even buy some things to "update" my room. To be quite honest, Charlie hadn't touched it, so it still looked like an eighteen year old lived there. Anyway, I was still thinking about Jacob. I wanted to ask Charlie about him, but I was worried that he might turn it into something I didn't want it to turn into. Charlie had a tendency to tell Jacob's dad, Billy, a little more than I would have liked.

"Hey Bells, great news. I just called up Billy and he is coming over tonight for dinner so that we can all catch up, sounds like fun right?" Charlie seemed very excited, but I needed to come up with an excuse and quick. The last thing I need is Jacob coming over and not only questioning why I haven't visited, but also trying to get in the middle of my divorce. I would honestly just be a sea of awkwardness that I would quickly drown in.

"Sorry dad, I can't. I'm going over to Angela's store to visit with her for a while and then get dinner at the diner." _Good Job Bella, quick thinking._

 _"_ Look Bella, if this is about all the nonsense between you and Jacob, I get it. But sooner or later you are going to have to be the bigger person and talk to him. And just so you know that I'm not a complete idiot, I know that you didn't ask me about Jacob for a reason, so I left it alone. Would you care for an update now, or would you like one later?" _Well crap Charlie._

"Is there anything I should know?"

"I'll leave the ball in your court on this one, have fun with Angela, Bells."

To me, that didn't really sound good. He was obviously keeping something from me, but I wasn't going to let that ruin my night with Angela.

For old times sake, I decided to take the truck. The hum of the engine roaring to life was like music to my ears. All I could think about was all the fun rides me and Jake had in the truck. I needed to get a grip. I was so busy daydreaming and being an idiot, that I almost missed the turn past the diner. When I was around the corner I saw the sign for Angela's shop. It was called "Angie's gifts and things". The building was originally a three-story town house, and it looked like maybe she was keeping a residence on the top floor. I was so happy for her. After I parked I quickly dodged the cold as best I could and opened the door. It smelled of candles, books, and Essential oils. Kind of like her room back in high school. I went to the front desk but she wasn't there.

"I'll be right with you, it will just be a minute," I heard her say from the back. Pretty soon a beautiful women approached from the back with her nose in a book. Angela had grown up. Two years ago, she was a lanky, awkward, silver rim glasses wearing girl with board straight hair. Now she was filled out and was rocking some black stilettos. Her hair had a nice bounce to it now and had been cropped to just past her shoulder.

"I've been looking for a card to get for one of my truest friends," I started to say, "something that explains how sorry I am for being so MIA for the last two years. Have anything that could help me out?"

In that instant her head popped straight up and her book fell to the floor. Her face filled with excitement and her eyes filled with tears.

"BELLA MARIE SWAN DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I HAVE MISSED YOU?! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Pretty soon I was being hugged so tight it felt like I might never breathe again. But it was the good kind of suffocation, if that even exists. I apologized profusely for my lack of communication, but when we were on a roll talking, it was like I never left. She started to fill me in about Mike, Jessica, and Eric with a little more detail than Charlie had.

"Bella, I think there is something you should probably be informed of about a particular someone. But I'm starving so let's go discuss it over at the diner over some steaks and french fries. You can also explain to me why you and Edward got a divorce. And before you ask, Charlie did not tell me. I noticed your name change online and the lack of your wedding ring."

Sentences like that are typically never good. I was almost positive I knew exactly who she was talking about.

We walked over to the diner and placed our orders. I got the veggie burger and Angela got a steak just like she said she would. After a while of her ranting about stupid things that I knew neither of us cared about, I caught on to the fact that she was stalling.

"Angela, why are you stalling? You know you can talk to me right?" I was getting a little antsy.

"Look Bella, I honestly was hoping that Charlie or someone else would be the one to tell you this, but obviously that hasn't happened." She was still trying to escape whatever it was she was hiding

"Cut to the chase Angela, I won't shoot the messenger."

"Okay just please let me finish before you cut in and say something. I'm only telling you what I know," she took a deep breath. "When you and Edward got married and left for your honeymoon, Jacob went crazy. He went into his room for two months and didn't come out. It reminded me of what happened to you when Edward left you that one time. I felt so sorry for him Bella. I tried to go over and see what was going on, to bring casseroles or whatever Billy might have needed. Eventually he started coming out again. When that happened, a girl named Jocelyn started hanging out with him a lot. And then they started dating. Personally I thought she would just be a rebound, but he's done with being alone I guess..."

"What are you saying?"

"Bella...", _oh no,_ "Jacob proposed to her a week before you got into town."


	3. Just Go For It

_Chapter three is here! I was wondering if ya'll could let me know what you prefer with a few things: updates everyday with shorter chapters (the fanfic will still be the same length though in the end) or updates every few days with longer chapters? Do you want me to change the POV to Jacob when we get to that part or leave it with Bella? Just shoot me a review and let me know!_

 _Again: All rights reserved to Stephanie Meyer, owner of the Twilight series._

 _This can't be happening, right? Jacob is only 18... I was only 18... But he's just a kid... I can't possibly imagine my Jacob with anyone other than me. I mean yes, I did crush his heart into a million pieces and then step on them individually, but I can't help but feel betrayed. But is it really my right to feel this way._

"Bella? Bella? Hello earth to Bella?" I awoke from my trance of thought to find Angela staring at me like I was about to take a swing at her.

"Sorry Angela, I just kind of lost it for a second."

"Look Bella, I know that you two had a very strange relationship... well if I should even refer to it as that. But after how long you stayed MIA I don't really think you have the right to act out. I think the best thing for you would be to go to La Push yourself and talk to him about it."

I knew I could always count on Angela to keep me intact, but as much as I didn't want to do that, I knew it had to be the right thing to do. Maybe after all this time I was still carrying a torch for my dear Jacob. I knew I loved him, even when I married Edward, but at the time, I loved Edward more. Thank God he never turned me. I would have been stuck living eternity miserably.

"Is he still living with Billy in the same house?"

"It's only been two years Bella, not twenty." I figured she was right, how much could have actually changed.

"You know Bella, if you want, I can drive you over there myself. Something tells me that you might need a little help and I can just chill outside and wait. Then you can just come and crash at my place."

Angela was the best. She always knew exactly what I wanted or needed, kind of like Jacob.

"Thanks Angie, this really means a lot to me. To be quite honest, I didn't make very many friends when Edward and I moved to Spokane."

"What time do you want to leave to go to the reservation?"

Tonight? She wanted to go tonight? Absolutely not. I was not ready for that kind of confrontation. I knew Angie really wanted me to go today, but how could I? Maybe tomorrow morning... then I would have tonight to think about whatever was going to happen.

"Is it okay if maybe we visit Mike and maybe even go see Jessica? I know Jess would be a long drive but I really miss them. I need some time to clear my head and that would be a good way to do it." At least visiting the two of them would give me a little time, even if it was definitely not at the top of my to-do list.

" I mean it is getting late Bella, but you're in luck. Jess is here for the weekend visiting her parents and Mike is just around the corner," she blushed when she said his name. I didn't even realize how selfish I was... I forgot to ask her about her relationship with Mike! After these few hours of us just talking about me, me, and me. I felt terrible. Now would be the best time to bring it up.

"Enough about me Angie, let's talk about you," I was being selfish again and stalling, "I heard around the grapevine that you and Mike are quite the power couple." She looked down at her steak bone and grinned.

"Well, after Eric left for film school and broke up with me I was kinda pissed. Mike was mad too because Eric was leaving, I mean come on, they were best friends," she took a deep breath and continued, "after all of that mess, Mike and I just kinda got really close and then one night when we were watching a movie at my place he just looked at me, and I looked at him, and we just kind of sat there." Her cheeks were so red I thought she might explode. "Well then he kissed me and we've been going strong ever since.

I could tell Mike made her happy, and I was happy for her. We kept on talking and talking until we realized how much time had gone by. It was already 8:30, so she suggested we just go see Jess since she would only be here for a few days and then see Mike tomorrow.

On our way to Jessica's house, the car was warm and toasty, it reminded me of the days when Jacob and I would drive around, and he Werewolf heat would radiate towards my body like a heater. I closed my eyes and smiled at the thought. Before I knew it I was in a sea of memories. I thought about the period of time when Edward left and Jacob had been my rock, my cornerstone. How he had waited and waited for me to be ready, but I never ended up actually being ready. I felt bad and instantly got a sick feeling to my stomach. Jacob probably wanted to have nothing to do with me. Was it really a good idea to go and see him, unannounced and uninvited? My thoughts were stopped short by Angie shrieking "We're here!"

We both got out of the car and went to the front door, when Jess answered she looked at us and shrieked... what was with all of the shrieking? I supposed that nothing had changed much since high school. We decided to go back to Angie's store and get a coffee, so we could sit around and talk like "mature adults". The spree of the "mature adults" moment was cut very short when we got into the drama of Jacob. I certainly would not have called it drama until Jess got in the middle of it. Anything she talked about she thoroughly over exaggerated it. It was one of those qualities you had to love.

"Wait so let me get this straight...", Jess was talking just like when we were young. "You and Bella are gonna drive to Jacob's house tonight? No way! Um ladies... I want in!"

I knew there was no going back now. Jacob was about to get mutilated. I figured it would be best to leave them in the car when we got there. Once we finished cleaning up our coffee mugs we went down and got into Angie's car. We figured that if I was gonna stay with her there would be no point in her driving my car. We swung by Charlie's so I could grab clothes and my toothbrush. Then we went to Jess' house so she could get her stuff too (Angie ended up asking her to spend the night as well so she wouldn't feel bad).

It was time. Pretty soon we were coming up to the sign that showed the reservation boundary. I could feel the butterflies fly around all over my stomach. I almost lost my dinner. What was I going to say? Would I hug him? Would he even want to talk to me? I got lost in my thoughts and didn't even notice that we had pulled up to the familiar tiny red house. The light in the garage was on, so I suggested that they pull up there. If anyone was in the garage, it was Jacob. Angela parked the car about a hundred feet from the garage, explaining it would let them keep their distance while also keeping an eye on me. I got out of the car and sure enough, there he was.

He was as beautiful as ever. He had gotten another three or so inches taller, and his hair was grown out just a little from that short buzz that Sam had made them maintain years ago. He looked like he had gotten a little more muscular, and his muscles rippled under his beautiful russet skin. I guess I had been standing there a while, because Jessica sent me a text that said "quit being a creep and go talk to him". oops.

I walked forward and entered the garage, but Jacob didn't hear me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Jacob?"


	4. Not Like Old Times

_Hey guys, I finally figured out how to get my story off of complete, so sorry! Someone mentioned that they liked the longer chapters, so from now on they might be coming a little slower. This chapter will still be in Bella's POV but get ready because the next chapter will be in Jacob's! If there is anything in particular that you want to see in the story or just with my writing in general, message me or shoot me a review. I'm always open to making it more fun to read for you guys! Anyway, I hope you don't hate me too much after this chapter and that you come back for more!_

 _\- Lou_

In an instant, a pair of dark, beautiful eyes turned to face me. I was shocked at how much older Jacob looked. His eyes had bigger bags under them than they used to. His jawline was now more chiseled and defined; it reminded me of a greek god's statue. He was breathtaking, even glowing, if you will. When our eyes met, there was a sense of hatred, betrayal, and pure repulsiveness. _I should not have come here. He hates me, and that will never change._

Pretty soon the silence between us felt like it would go on for an eternity, but he finally spoke up.

"What do you think you're doing here?" The words he spoke were like acid to my ears. I could feel my heart and soul collapsing and caving in on each other. Imagine the very best thing that ever happened to you telling you off, then multiply it by 100. That's how I felt. I couldn't respond to what he said, so I simply turned around while the tears welled in my eyes.

"Look Isabella. I asked you a question, and for the hell you put me through I at least deserve an answer. Two years, and not a single word. No note. Nothing."

The tears began spilling, and soon my shirt was soaked. "Jake...I...I...", the words that were needed for everything I wanted to say were nowhere in sight.

"That's what I thought. You can't even give me a decent reason apology or reasoning or anything after what you did. Now that I think about it, where is your little leech? Did you run away from him so you could toy with me and lead me on again?" His words were cold and icy.

The only thing I could manage to spit out was "I divorced him, Jacob." Sometime after that statement, the redness in his face faded a few shades. After 30 seconds of silence I continued, with eyes closed, to pour my heart out. "I was never changed Jacob, I wouldn't let him. I wasn't happy. I was getting older and he was still seventeen years old. What kind of sick, perverted twenty year old marries a seventeen year old? I didn't want him anymore. Then he pulled his little act, which if you want to talk about that later we can but right now is about you and me. So I left. I could have gone and lived anywhere, but I chose to come back to my roots. Jacob...", I was letting lose, everything I lied to myself about, everything I didn't want to be true because of the pain it caused me. "Jacob... I came back because I wanted you. You're the only other man I've ever loved in my life, and I hurt you, and I truly can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I will never be able to forgive myself.", I was now sobbing. "When I heard that you were engaged it broke me into a million more pieces. All I could think about was how there was another girl that was your imprint, another girl that was the only thing holding you to this earth. Look, I'm sorry I even came over here, I'll leave now."

I quickly turned and headed out the door. Something inside of me was hoping he would stop me, pull me back, and embrace me in his natural warmth just like when we were younger. Each step I took closer to the car was each step closer to leaving Jacob forever. I knew this would happen, I really did. But it still hit me like ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of me and leaving me on the grounded wounded and disoriented. I was about to open the car door when I heard Jake call my name. I immediately turned around to find him inches away from me, breathing heavily. The tears that were welled up in his eyes made me cry even more.

"Look, Bella. You know that pain you think you were feeling? Imagine being on my end of it. This is exactly what it felt like when Edward took you away and swept you off of your feet. It should have been me, but you said no. And now, Bella, it's my turn to say no." His words were like daggers, not only because of what he was doing, but also because I knew he was right. That was what hurt me the most.

"I would be mad right now, Jake, but I'm not. I know you're right. If what you want is for me to leave you alone say the words and I'll be done nagging you and trying to patch the unfixable hole that I caused. Just know that I love you, Jake. Always have, Always will." I was done. I had poured out my heart, drip by drip.

He didn't stop me after that, so I got in the car and asked Angela to drive away. I think they heard everything that happened, because they didn't ask me about anything when I got into the car. The drive to Angela's was short and awkward. I could tell they really wanted to break the silence, but were afraid that it would end up hurting me more than I already was. I was grateful that they were letting me cope on my own. They knew that when I wanted to talk, I would go to them.

When we got to the townhouse/shop, we went straight upstairs and put our pajamas on. Angela got out neapolitan ice cream and all the fixings. Between the three of us and "The Notebook" playing in the background, the ice cream was gone in no time.

Through the night, I tried really hard to forget everything that had happened. I didn't want to be the buzzkill of our first sleepover in years. I smiled through the pain. After some more movies and junk food, we were all nestled into our beds. I soon drifted off into a deep sleep, a sleep that would haunt me for days to come.

In my dream, I was surrounded by darkness. There was only one light, and it was directly above me but it seemed like it had no source. Then all of the sudden I was unable to breath, and I could feel water around me. Everything around me slowly was becoming more and more visible. I could hear muffled screams coming from below me, so I looked down. I could see a boat, a sinking boat. In this boat was Jacob... and Edward. Something was telling me that I had to make a decision on who to save. I kept thinking, _Why can't I save them both?_ All of a sudden, It was as if I could not control my movements, and I was unwittingly going towards Edward. I kept screaming that he was not my choice, and that I wanted to save Jacob, but the invisible force controlling me ignored my requests. Edward was now in my grasp. Well... not technically my grasp. I looked down to find Jacob taking his last attempt at a breath-then he disappeared into the water as the boat sank deeper and deeper. I looked away, knowing I wouldn't be able to take it. The first thing that caught my eyes was Edward, laughing at my misfortune.

I woke up with sweat all over my body. It was still dark outside. I looked over to Angela's alarm clock and it was 4:00 am. Terrific. I hadn't had a dream like that since Edward had left me all those years ago. Did this mean that they would come every night like they had? The thought of having the same terrors haunting me in the night brought me to tears. My extent of fear and pain had reached its limit. I didn't know what to do.

I went to Angela's bathroom in hoping of finding some nyquil or something to help me get some sleep. I didn't find any. Just my luck. I went back into the living room to find that Jessica and Angela were both awake.

"Bella, I think we should go to La Push this morning and watch the tide come in like old times, what do you think?"

Angela was so understanding and kind. I could tell she genuinely wanted to take my mind off of everything. And even though Jessica looked agitated that I had inadvertently woke her from her sleep, I knew she was there for me too. We got blankets, coffee, snacks, and pillows to take on our little adventure. This time instead of taking Angela's car, we took the truck so that we could pull up to the beach, pile everything in the back, and watch from the tail bed as the tide was coming.

The air felt cold, and sea breezes seemed like they would be inevitable. It was a good thing that we brought as many blankets as we did. Around seven, when the sun was starting to peak over the horizon, we went to go look at all the life in the tidal pools. It was beautiful. They were all in sync with each other. No one creature was bothering another creature. They were living in harmony. Something that I wished I could have in my life. Harmony with something...someone. My someone didn't want me though, and he had chosen another. I bet he had already imprinted on her too.

Jessica decided that since it had warmed up about ten degrees, that she would go put on her wet suit and go for a surf. She looked very precise as she danced on the waves. Precision. Another attribute I wished I had in my life. I couldn't take the reminders of what I didn't have any longer, so I left to go take a walk on the beach.

The sand was cold and smooth between my toes. It reminded me off all the walks Jacob and I took. It reminded me of the time I stupidly jumped off of a cliff and he had to pull me to shore. Young, stupid, reckless Bella. Not much had changed. I was slowly giving in to the memories, and pretty soon I was drowning in my own thoughts. I noticed that all my memories with Edward were sad or full of discipline. He was too much of a protector and not what I needed, which was someone to be there for me, trust me, and love me. Jacob always trusted me. He always trusted me. He always loved me. No matter what I did to him.

As I sank deeper and deeper into my thoughts I was unaware of the fact that I was about a quarter mile from Jacob and I's log. I didn't want to go over there but my feet seemed to be moving on their own-my brain was no longer controlling my body. As I got closer and closer, I began to examine it. Nothing had changed. Not one branch had fallen off. It was as if when I left and it was no longer "our log", that time had stood still. I was now roughly fifty feet from the log. As I got closer I could hear a small, faint sound coming from the opposite side of the log.

I was instantly infuriated. I knew very well that I had no territorial claim over this log, but this person was trespassing on my memories, the last thing I had left to remember my time with Jacob. My pace quickened. I was going to shoo this person away and tell them to find another place to cry about their pathetic life. I rounded the end of the log and was about to spill my mind when the source of the crying became a clear image in my vision.

"Jake?"


	5. She's back

okay quick PSA: I'M SO SO SO SO sorry ya'll! With finals and then all this stuff and traveling I had going on I had no way of updating and I feel like a terrible person. Anyway, this chapter will be in Jacob's POV (finally am I right?!). It will pick up right where she walked into the shed and first saw Jacob. I advise you to be prepared for some total awkwardness and tension thick enough to slice and serve around. Oh yeah and you'll probably hate me a little more when I introduce his finance... Anyway keep the reviews coming and the stories will come quicker!

\- lou

 _Jacob's POV_

 _"_ Jake?" There was only one person in my life that had a velvet voice like that. I turned around to see if my suspicions were accurate, and they were. Instantly I felt every ounce of anger I had ever felt in my entire life rise up to my head. I was hot, shaking, and on edge. One wrong move and I would have to buy yet another pair of shoes. Right when I turned around our eyes met. She was as beautiful as ever, and her fair skin contrasted nicely with her wavy hair. Despite this, I was still beyond enraged, but seeing the beauty that I remembered helped me calm down, and slowly the verge of turning calmed. There was a period of endless silence before I decided I would speak up.

"What do you think you're doing here?", these were the only words I could come up with to say. If there was any ounce of hope in her eyes in that moment when I said that it disappeared, and she turned away. That was it? So she has the audacity to come to my territory unexpected and with no invite and can't answer a simple question? I don't think so.

"Look Isabella, I asked you a question, and after the hell you put me through I think I at least deserve an answer. Two years, and not a single word. No note. Nothing." She turned back around and her fitted shirt was covered in tears. Regardless of how mad I was, I still felt a little piece of my heart strain at the sight of her distraught.

"Jake...I...I...", I cut her off.

"That's what I thought. You can't even give me a decent reason or apology or anything after what you did." Speaking of... "Now that I think about it, where is your little leech? Did you run away from him so you could lead me on and toy with me again?

Bella was about to go into a rampage, and I could see it in her eyes. All I heard when she spoke were her blatant apologies. Sure, I knew they were genuine; they always were when they came from her. Hardly a mean bone in her body. The only thing that truly stuck out was the fact that she and her demon boy had gotten a divorce. I guess age really isn't just a number. Before I knew it, she stated that she was done and that she would leave me, and that's when everything she said hit me, and the tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stop her and say something or not, but something inside of me made me walk in her direction and call her name. The anger was generally out of my system, and now I was just upset. Awkward adult crying moment.

"Look, Bella. You know that pain you think you were feeling? Imagine being on my end of it. This is exactly what it felt like when Edward took you away and swept you off of your feet. It should have been me, but you said no. And now, Bella, it's my turn to say no." I could tell what I said had hurt her, but nothing would ever equal what she put me through, not even hell itself.

"I would be mad right now, Jake, but I'm not. I know you're right. If what you want is for me to leave you alone say the words and I'll be done nagging you and trying to patch the unfixable hole that I caused. Just know that I love you, Jake. Always have, Always will." When she finished she started walking towards the car she came in, where I could see two of her girlfriends from high school. They were definitely the gossiping type, and I could tell all my business would be all over town in no time. But that didn't matter. I didn't stop Bella this time. I let her go. I've always had a bad habit of letting her go, but now it's really too late to change anything.

I wondered if this was something I should tell Jocelyn. I mean, before we we're an "item", she was my go to person when it came to venting to someone about what had happened with Bella. Well other than the parts that I was a wolf and The bloodsucking Cullens were vampires. That was a big mistake, not telling her and all. I was running out of time. She didn't even know that I had imprinted on her, let alone the definition of imprinting.

I just needed time, but that was something I could not afford to get. I also needed to make a decision about Jocelyn. Maybe marrying her wasn't the best thing for either of us. Maybe it would just end in a puddle of destruction. Maybe I would be _that guy_ and say Bella's name at the alter instead of Jocelyn's. I could feel my body starting to quiver and shake under me, if I wasn't careful I would shift from the lack of being able to control my emotions.

END OF PART ONE OF CHAPTER 5


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